


a real coffee shop au

by nanasuoka



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 07:35:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14911103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanasuoka/pseuds/nanasuoka
Summary: its real





	a real coffee shop au

Peter’s deep inside his own mind, daydreaming about the most creative ways to end his life so he doesn’t have to close tonight when the jingle of the door opening startles him out of his reverie. He calls out a quick hello over the sound of the espresso bean grinder grinding espresso beans to make grinds for the espresso machine. The man who walks in is, like, really buff but Peter doesn’t actually care because, like, the guy also drove up in a red Mustang and Peter doesn’t like military men much...

Anyway the guy comes up to the counter and says “I need something that makes me look like a crackhead.” He slams five dollars down but not actual dollars— he has those stupid rolls of nickels that Peter can never open fast enough when Sharon from the Knitting Club is staring him down waiting for her change and a half sweet white mocha cappuccino. And then Peter feels a massive amount of diarrhea make its way to his asshole and meerkat its little monstrous head out before he clenches and forces a smile onto his face.

“Maybe you’d like an iced Americano?” He says sweetly out loud, but inside he thinks _I wish I was dead._

The guy nods like he knows what Peter’s talking about and then says, “I’ll take a large and two extra shots…” a little bit unsure like it’s something he read about someone saying in a shitty coffee shop au fanfiction, or something. Or maybe he really was a crackhead. 

So Peter rings him up and he’s like “That’s $4.38.” And the guy’s like “My name’s Wade.” And then Peter has to point at the sign that distinctly does not say Starbucks, ‘cause this isn’t a Starbucks and that’s not the way they do things in places that aren’t Starbucks, generally. The guy blinks at him for a moment before cracking an awkward smile. (or Wade, Peter supposes, but it’s like totally insignificant because Peter’s not gonna remember this day after he drops down from his accidental six-shot high that happened when he forgot large iced mochas actually have three shots each.) He’s also not going to remember the color of this Wade guy’s eyes or anything because things like that aren’t worth remembering when you get paid $7.50 an hour. 

Peter starts making the drink and accidentally burns himself when he spills a little bit of the espresso shot on his hand and he thinks _I wish I was Dead_ once more while mixing the drink. He snaps the lid on and slides it across the counter, calling out its name when Wade saunters up and sticks his straw in, taking a sip. It’s pretty admirable that he avoids making a face ‘cause Americanos are fucking horrible, but it’s also kind of sad because Peter likes watching customers suffer since they have no rights under the US Constitution. 

Wade takes his drink and leaves without saying thank you and as a tip he left one of those little plastic horse figurines in the tip jar. 

 

The end.


End file.
